is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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