I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
4 words: hood of his car
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
