u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
