My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So squirting runs in the family.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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