Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We need a shit load of segways right now
Two words: blizzard sex
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
