If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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