i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Congratulations! We have a period
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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