You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
