He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
