i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
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