just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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