I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize