He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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