You really coming over, don't trick.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Are we still banned from the library?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
