he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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