Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
