I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
