You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
babies were throwing up all over the place
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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