he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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