I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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