The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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