no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You took a bar mat shot.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
