Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
