I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
