Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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