his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
