Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
don't judge my taste in strippers
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
