My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize