I can't breathe out the right side of my face
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
