are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
