But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
