I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
