Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
