but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
