Banned from zoo.
Again?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
