Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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