operation harelip BJ is a go
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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