Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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