Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Randomize