He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
