Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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