Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
this just has baby written all over it
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
