i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
