u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
