just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
