is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
