Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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