Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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