how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize