I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
