Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Randomize
