is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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