toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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