I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
