I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
