You made me cry and you don't even care
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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