I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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