its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
