The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
