He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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