who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
