Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
