tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
